The linked article sheds light on a area of law that is becoming more common, sperm and egg donation. More women are waiting later to have children. When my mother was younger, it was normal for women to get married in their teens and become parents in their late teens early 20’s. This may be why infertility treatments weren’t as utilized as it is now. There was no need. A woman’s fertility doesn’t decrease until her late 20’s, but when she reaches 35, her ability to have a child decreases more quickly. According to reproductivefacts.org, “Each month that she tries, a healthy, fertile 30-year-old woman has a 20% chance of getting pregnant. That means that for every 100 fertile 30-year-old women trying to get pregnant in 1 cycle, 20 will be successful and the other 80 will have to try again. By age 40, a woman’s chance is less than 5% per cycle, so fewer than 5 out of every 100 women are expected to be successful each month.” Everyone knows that men can father a child well past that of a woman, some fathering children well into their 70’s.
Then there is the issue of how can a woman who wants to get pregnant, achieve pregnancy. In the state of Florida, sperm donors have no legal claim to their offspring. In fact, the father may not know how many times his sperm is used or not. If you are a woman who wants no contact with the father of your child, this is the route to take. The consequences of obtaining sperm in any other method will subject you to the father’s potential claim to establish paternity. It won’t even matter if the father waits years after the child is born to establish his rights. Until 2018, a married woman who became impregnated by a man other than her husband, could block the biological father’s rights to the child at all. Florida’s Supreme Court held in 2018, in Perkins v. Simmons, that a biological father does have the right to establish paternal rights to a child conceived to a married mother.
When determining how to become a parent, choose wisely.
The new Tax Cuts and Jobs Act (TCJA), cuts both ways on the issue of alimony. If you are a paying spouse, new divorces that are final post 12/31/2018, cannot deduct the alimony paid on their tax return. If you are a receiving spouse, the alimony payment you receive (if entered or modified post 12/31/2018, is no longer taxed. So, if a spouse is ordered to pay $1200 per month, $1200 is actually what will be received.
It will be interesting to see how the new law is received once its terms become effective.
In Florida, once your child graduates highschool and turns 18, he or she are on their own. There is no requirement that either parent pay for college. However, if you are that parent who can help, the path is not clear for how to get financial aid.
The following are tips to help you navigate:
1. The parent where the child has lived the most for the past 12 months is the parent who files for aid.
2. It doesn’t matter which parent claims the child on their taxes. (Refer to #1).
3. If the parent where the child lived the most remarries,you have to include the step-parent’s income on the financial aid form.
4. Same sex parents are subject to the same rules.
5. Some colleges require both parents’ incomes even if divorced. Follow this link for the list:https://profile.collegeboard.org/…/part…
6. If the child lived equally with both parents, the parent who spent the most on the child’s care is the parent who fills out the form.
The following links are helpful.
To Collaborate or not to Collaborate,
that is the question.
Many have heard about the new collaborative divorce process available in Florida and other states. The claims from attorneys who advocate for this type of law believe that the new process is cheaper, avoids the uncertainty of a court’s decision and avoids the nastiness which comes with a contested proceeding.
I must debunk the notion that collaborative divorce is cheaper than a regular divorce. The filing fee for a collaborative divorce and a regular contested divorce cost the same. Each spouse hires an attorney. Each spouse has to pay the attorney. Sometimes both spouses and both attorneys meet together. It still costs each attorneys’ hourly rate to do so. It is true that in a collaborative, you try to agree on an expert rather than hiring two, such as a CPA. You still have to pay the CPA though. In a collaborative divorce, the emphasis is on settlement rather than litigation. That ideal certainly benefits the spouses and their children, if they have any. Collaborative should reduce the animosity the parties experience in a contested divorce. However, a contested divorce, the parties will still attend a mediation before a trial is scheduled. Collaborative divorces also attend mediation and yes, it costs the same.
Any time two spouses settle their divorce, they avoid the uncertainty of a Judge’s decision. Again, in a regular contested divorce, the parties attend mediation where settlement can occur. It all depends on the parties.
When two people are divorcing, clearly they have problems with each other. Requiring them to meet often in the same room with therapists, attorneys and experts, may just throw gasoline on the fire. If two married people can be civil during their divorce, there is no reason why they cannot direct their attorney to try settlement.
The ultimate downside to collaborative divorces: If you fail to reach a settlement- You cannot use your attorney or experts you hired. You have wasted all that money and time. You literally start over. You and your spouse have to hire new attorneys. My goal is for the best outcome, via settlement or trial.In the 18 years of practicing law, I’ve had hundreds of divorce cases. Only 3, were truly uncontested. Those 3 couples literally agreed to each issue. The rest fell somewhere between settling or trial. The majority of the cases will settle. I don’t recommend Collaborative Divorce because ultimately it can cost you twice what a regular case costs and you have wasted the time. Divorce should be like a bandaid. Rip it off, don’t slowly pull one hair at a time.
During your divorce or custody action, everything you say to your best friend, parent or boy/girl friend can be disclosed. You don’t have the luxury we did growing up of being able to ask your friend to keep your secrets. Your best friend can be subpoenaed to court and compelled to recount your conversations.
Who can you talk to during your divorce? There are people you can talk to and not have the conversations replayed. Your attorney cannot disclose anything you say without your permission. If you have a therapist, he/she cannot be compelled to disclose information about you. Your priest/minister/rabbi cannot be compelled to tell your secrets. Even your accountant can hold your secrets. To read more in depth on who you can talk to, see https://www.leg.state.fl.us/statutes/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&URL=0000-0099/0090/Sections/0090.501.html
Unless your confidant falls into one of the exceptions, he or she can be called as a witness. They can be required to provide documents. I point these hidden dangers because friendships change. Families choose sides in a family law matter. Your current spouse, if you aren’t divorcing, cannot be required to divulge your secrets.
Talk to your attorney about your case. Attorneys are counselors at law and are accustomed to listening. The best person to discuss your case is with your attorney and I am a good listener.
In the Pensacola area there are at least two different churches who host Divorce recovery groups.
Marcus Pointe Baptist Church 6205 North “W” Street Pensacola, FL on Tuesdays, 6:00 pm – 8:00 pm;
Feb. 6 – May 1, 2018
Olive Baptist Church 836 E. Olive Rd. Pensacola, FL
850-475-1147 or [email protected]
Led by Stephen and Michelle Shelby
Wednesdays | 6:00p-8:00p | Room 4103.
If you try to open a Florida statute volume, you will not find a provision for annulments. However, you can still obtain one. Judges over time have created different causes of action via case law. Florida Courts have recognized reasons why a couple can get an annulment. They are: one participant is less than 18 years of age at the time of the marriage, if one is incapable of having sexual relations, related too closely (brother, sister, aunt, uncle), or mental impairment. The downside to filing an annulment is that you can spend the money to hire an attorney but the judge can still say no. Annulments are unlike a divorce proceeding. When you file for divorce, you may not know the specific details when you begin, but you are for sure certain that you will be single! A judge, even if your spouse doesn’t want a divorce, will grant it.
Annulments tend to be an exit route for celebrities who failed to get a pre-nup before getting hitched, i.e., Britney Spears’ 55 hour marriage. There are certain benefits. Annulments have previously been a route to avoid the declaration that one was “divorced” There is no stigma associated with divorce in our day and age. The advantage to obtaining an annulment however, can be huge if granted. For instance if one spouse has extensive assets and income, an annulment would necessarily disallow alimony claims. You have to have been married in Florida to claim alimony.
If you are considering an exit from your marriage, contact our firm for options.
In Florida, assets that you bring into the marriage are yours. The status of the asset can change however. If you for instance, had a house prior to your marriage, but added your husband to the deed, he is now entitled to it just as much as you. If you at the time of your marriage have a retirement account and continue to contribute to it, the portion and growth from the date of your marriage is 1/2 your spouse’s. Your salary is a marital asset. If during your marriage you put your salary into a banking account, whatever the name, it is a marital asset.
If you are contemplating marriage and have assets, you should contact an attorney to determine whether you would benefit from a prenuptial agreement. A prenup can streamline your assets if you ever divorce and give you peace of mind for your future, no matter if the marriage is successful. Hopefully, it is successful.
Absolutely, text messages are admissible! If you are in a family law case, emotions run high. People say things they later regret. But, when you do it either in a text message or email, the likelihood that you will see it in print at a hearing, is almost 100%! Bad behavior can be punished by a judge. It can reduce your parenting time. If your spouse isn’t paying the child support as ordered, and you text, “I’m not letting you see our son until you pay your child support,” the Judge is no longer looking at a he said she said. It is in black and white. Rant and rave all day long to your family or your best friend, out of the earshot of your kids. DO NOT vent without a filter via text, email or social media. I remind clients that if you say it in writing, you will see it in Court. You should always act as if the Judge can see you.
Often, clients will ask, “Does it matter who files for divorce first?” Technically, no, it doesn’t matter. However, strategically it can. The person who files first, named the Petitioner, will set the tone. If adultery or misuse of money is alleged, then we know the divorce is going to be contested and perhaps hostile.
It is actually about $100 cheaper to file second. However, I find that if you are the Respondent, you are behind the 8 ball. When a divorce is filed, there are certain time deadlines that can cause stress. Within 45 days from the date of service of process, parties must give a lengthy amount of documents to the other side. Honestly, just compiling all of the documents can be stressful. If you are first to file, then in theory, you have already gotten those items together. At our firm, we do not generally file a Dissolution (divorce) unless the client has obtained all of the Mandatory Disclosure documents. (https://www.ferryandferry.com/for-clients-2/mandatory-disclosure-checklist/)
Filing first also gives you more time to plan your future, rather than being blindsided. Women are 2/3 more likely to file first. White women are at the top of that number. This is most likely attributable to increased wages that women are now capable of earning.
If divorce is certainly on your horizon, contact us to see the light at the end of the tunnel.